the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
