You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
