went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
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She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
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Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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