I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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