i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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