you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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