I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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