there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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