Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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