Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I didn't notice because vodka
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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