i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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