things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
