My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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