just tell him i said nine months
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
