Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
