I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?