the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
