I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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