i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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