So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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