i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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