Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
is wine microwaveable?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
