well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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