North Korea, Best Korea!
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
