well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
