ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
