dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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