So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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