No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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