I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize