im six kinds of drunk right now
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Randomize