Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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