dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
