Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
