You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
