I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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