I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
