So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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