Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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