And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I want to have your abortion
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
