Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
