I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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