I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
