Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
ugly people sure do ruin things
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
