That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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