so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
