she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
