She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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