I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
