so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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