hotel room ftw
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
