Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
