Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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