hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
