this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
