Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
