Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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