i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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