My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
