If you die in college, do you die in real life?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he laminated a picture of his dick.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
