She announced her abortion via fbk
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
