She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
