Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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