So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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