YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i was born a porn star she said
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
