yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
