WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
